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Monday, June 19, 2006

Uwe Boll's Challenge to Critics

Do you hate Uwe Boll? Do you think his movies, such as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, and Bloodrayne were some of the worst pieces of film to hit theaters in recent years? Do you find the German Ed Wood's hubris to be so gargantuan that you want to beat him upside the head with a tubesock filled with woodscrews?

PSST: The correct answers are "Yes", "YES", and "GOD IN HEAVEN, YES! WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!"

Well, guess what? If you happen to be one of those outspoken critics of Mr. (sorry, sorry, "Dr.") Boll's celluloid shlock, you could possibly be lucky enough to take him on in the boxing ring. In a recent press release, Boll issued a challenge to those who've vocally blasted his films. Essentially, he is willing to go ten rounds in the ring with these folks, so long as they meet his rather stringent criteria:

  • Your criticism must predate January 1, 2006. "Critics of 2006 will not be considered." (Damn, guess my little rant isn't eligible)
  • You must be male.
  • You must weigh between 140 and 190 lbs.
  • You will have to sign the necessary forms, be inspected by a doctor, blah blah blah blah blah...
So, if you're interested, go ahead and shoot an email off to info@boll-kg.de with your anti-Boll message. Boll has promised to pay for transportation and hotel stays for anyone he goes toe-to-toe with (just watch, the challengers are gonna be stowed away in baggage compartments and housed in flea-ridden cardboard boxes). Hopefully, whoever gets to go will knock some sense into the man and convince him to stop defiling video game franchises.


  • I heard Hilary Swank said some bad things about him last year. Surely post Boys Don't Cry she is eligible?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:47 AM  

  • I think Hilary Swank fails the "must be male" criteria. Possibly. I'm not sure why he has this criteria, though. Guess getting his ass kicked by a girl would just be too embarassing?

    By Blogger Wolfger, at 5:38 AM  

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